The power of accountability and momentum.
A story about an awakening goddess
Awareness can shift your perspective and determine the trajectory of your life.
Taking a step back to analyze and inner stand the self can help you see things like never before.
In coaching we talk about 3 pillars to transformation. You can look st these like 3 legs to a stool. Each depending on one another and without one the whole foundation falls. These three keys are
This is what we call the trifecta of change. Below you will find words that will guide your mind to understand how missing any one of these can dramatically prevent your potential.
I had a student one time that was so powerful that her own abilities frightened her. She had so much skill and potential but she like most of us had a difficult time seeing it within herself. When we crossed paths she was 20 years old, in college pursuing a nursing career, living at home with her parents, in a 4 year relationship and experiencing life quest stagnation, so we like to call it.
She found us and we noticed her insecurity, her self doubt, her shyness, her searching for the self, her need to be loved. Not by anyone else but by her own self.
She was heavily effected by her family vibration as most of us who live with our parents at a young age are and she was very dependent on the people around her for her happiness, a common trap that most of us fall in.
When we introduced the 3 pillars we started to see a shift.
Her and her boyfriend joined a 3 month dream builder course and trained under a life coach in hopes to learn more about themselves and where to take the relationship.
They recieved a structure. A 12 part series program and workbook with Audio lessons and mediations to help guide them in the right direction.
They recieved support from their coach with laser coaching, email coaching, a group to share wins and hold space for one another.
They also recieved accountability with weekly action steps, accountability partners and part of the program was to find mastermind groups to continue the support.
So by the end of the 3 months this insecure unsure of herself young girl started to open up more, connect deeper with her own intrusion and begin to create momentum for herself.
She launched her very own blog, began daily yoga and meditation, implemented journaling, started to follow her passion and express herself more. Oh and she began to shift her diet and be more conscious and plant based. It was a beautiful sight to see the blossoming of a lotus flower from the muddy waters.
Well we met up 3 months later to check in and see how she was doing and we where surprised by what she had to share.
She opened up about experiencing a type of depression, she has been skipping yoga and meditation, has been avoiding journaling, went back to eating less conscious foods, picked up a cannabis and alcoholic consumption habit, sleeping in later then usual and feeling lost and unmotivated.
“Well what happened?” We asked her curious to see how this occurred.
“well 3 months ago after the dream builder program ended my boyfriend decided he wanted to take a break and idk.. I guess I stated to spend more time with my family and I’m going back to school for nursing and I’m kinda just here.”
“Hmm.. how do you feel after your break up?”
“I feel like I didn’t really know who I was. I depended my happiness on him because I didn’t have it within myself. I felt like I lost myself in it .”
“Well you can’t lose yourself if you never knew yourself.” We explained “what we hear you saying is that 3 months ago we saw you blossoming. You had momentum going. You just started your blog. You where designing clothes. You where excited and motivated.. but it seems as soon as you where left on your own you went back to old habits and patterns. Do you want to know why?”
“Well again this is only our opinion but we acknowledge that what you really lost 3 months ago was not yourself but your accountability, support and structure. It seems that when your coaching program ended and your boyfriend left you went back to the only people that where available to you, your family. Unconsciously as you began healing and where in a vulnerable state you where easily impressed with the energy association. In other words you experienced something called an ego backlash and your vibration went back to homeostasis.”
This is a very common phenomenon that happens anytime we begin to experience major change it is perceived as danger in our minds because naturally our minds want to protect us and keep us comfortable. This is why the accountability and support is crucial because it allows you to have reflections that guide you when you need it most.
Especially when it comes to family. Most families are stuck in homesteasis and comfort. When someone in the family begins to awaken the collective ego views it as a potential threat.
Because now all of a sudden a lot of the usual rituals and beliefs begin to change. Now they have to cook different meals, they have to adjust to a different energy, they have to hear what they call “dreamer or crazy talk” and a lot of times family are the ones that hold us back the most. Not because they don’t care about us but because they do. They don’t want to see you fail or get hurt and want sometime stable and safe for you as most likely they sought for themselves.
Being authentic and real a lot of our parents are living comfortable and unfulfilling lives. Not saying they don’t have good days or enjoy moments but more so emphasing on the fact that they themselves didn’t persue their highest desires or dreams.. most likely because their parents influenced them and they didn’t have the right accountability or structure!
So as Alan watts says “it’s all wretched and no vomit.. it never gets there!”
There individual must follow the heart, forget the money as the main motivation and be okay with failure as feedback.
So we decided to check in on the boyfriend to see how his 3 month development has been.
“I’m really starting to reach new heights. Every day I’m waking up with a feeling of fulfillment. My self image is improving. I just started a 3 month warrior training program. My YouTube channel is up and going. I’m releasing an ebook and launching a website soon and my diet is amazing! Fully plant based!”
“Astonishing I said! What has helped you integrate and keep the momentum?”
“Defiantly the accountability and support. I have weekly calls with a sol brothers chat where we hold space for one another. Every Thursday I attend something called mantra house with a great community there. I also am coaching students and that helps me stay grounded. I started spending less time with my family and more quality time. I began to heal and cry. I sat down with toad and frog medicine as well as multiple plant medicines. I incorporated mushrooms into my diet and a lot of superfoods!”
“That is amazing.” We saw how association dramatically shifted the outcome of both these individuals. One contracted her energy while the other expanded based on their environment and will power. Their ability to discern and make decisions while trusting themselves.
We where even more curious to see how their feelings towards one another has shifted so we asked them their current stance in the relation.
“Her hurt me and made me insecure. He would try and leave some multiple times and it made me doubt myself. We would argue and fight and yeah I love him but I’m just hurt right now.” Our lady client spoke to us and we could hear her pain and anger in her voice.
“I feel very grateful for the relationship. I have been learning so much and realizing how much it matured me and made me a better person. There was definitely a lot of forgiveness work that had to be done but once I forgave myself and started to self heal I realized how I was responsible for al my decisions. “
Would you ever get back with each other?
“Probably not” she replied.
“Yes.” He responded.
So curious we thought how these two individuals are on complete sides of the spectrum. We can see how certain patterns of self sabotage occurs when we lack the proper accountability and support and structure.
We can see the obvious benefits of having a mastermind group and how it can rapidly increase your growth.
Our lady student must realize what she has forgotten. She must pick up her momentum again now with more wisdom and understanding of the transformation process. She must make the daily conscious choose to decide how she wants to feel and take action. It would help setting herself up with accountability partners, support and a proper structure to follow.
Our other student must continue to focus on himself avoiding any distractions. The more he can concentrate his energy the more he will be able to accomplish. He must pace bundled and continually check in on himself. We could sense a deep desire to want to help his ex and apply energy towards her. We advised to release. Forgive. Let go. He must allow her to find her own path and acknowledge where she is on her journey. If he wants to help he can by helping himself. Sharing insights through his work and trusting the process. He was resistant but understood and agreed.
He shared that he wanted to share the story and indirectly guide her while opening the portal to having others tune into these learning lessons as well.
We liked his creativity and supported his vision while making him mindful of his other projects
“Take it one project at a time and stay focused. You can create this project but let it happen naturally. Don’t force anything. Let go and balance yourself.”
He was about to leave to Mexico and decided to let go and let the “rebirth” project create itself.
A great student he is. He has an interested quest ahead of him. We are excited to see how both these individuals end up together.