I promise

Dear Abuelita,

We just got off the phone and I shed a few tears. It’s nice hearing your voice again and catching up on our progress, but the real reason why this phone call was so different from all the other ones was the promise we made to each other. We both feel the pain of being divided, I know you understand the value of family as I do and just want the best for us. But I don’t think you know what I have been going through, the pain, the struggle, the anger, and the unanswered questions on why all this had to happen. You told me your dreams over the phone just now and I shed a few tears.

I promise I won’t fail you. I promise you I will give it my all. I promise you I will do everything I can. What a fantasy isn’t it? To be able to purchase land and build our family on it. To collectively live together with the pleasure and importance of privacy. To be able to have our own life with the assurance of each other close by. It all just seems too good to be true.

You entitled me to look for land nearby to purchase, to find a place to make this real. I promised you I would. I would look and search, research and learn, plan and develop a way to get you over here and start building this dream. But as we talked I started to realize the real rationale, the real reasoning for all this. I am no longer a kid now and I understand why this is so important. You expressed to me how much you worry about my health, my solitude and how it affects me, my happiness, and my well-being. You shared with me your wish to spend your last years with me and I felt the sting of reality. The fact that you won’t live forever, the harsh truth that you will be gone from this Earth and I will sit here as I am now writing these words to express myself.

It seems as if at times I live in tomorrow without appreciating today. For at times I would get so caught up with my work that I wouldn’t be able to answer your phone calls or send you that text. It seems at times I am so focused on wanting to build and create for the family that I forget to live in today’s world. I, at times, forget how great today is and why it is called the present, and I need remind myself why I should appreciate every moment, conversation, and laughs we share. For it may be the last we are able to share and enjoy.

I promise you I will work hard to make your dream a reality, despite the falling economy, the dying world, and our corrupted society. I will persevere above it all and make it a reality for you to enjoy your last moments with us while you’re still here. I don’t want to regret working harder when you perish, I want to enjoy life with you as you still roam this realm.

You told me to not share this with anyone so that it doesn’t get jinxed. Superstition is a form of faith and I apologize for writing about this but I find that as I encrypt words onto a digital canvas I am able to reminisce on previous dreams and remind myself why it is so crucial for me to succeed.

I promise you I won’t fail. I won’t let anyone or anybody bring me down. I promise you I will be happy and healthy. I promise you I will never give up on the family. I promise you I will make your dream into a reality for it is my dream as well. I promise you we will bring the family back together. I promise I won’t fail you and that we will all be happy just like we dreamed.

I promise.

Sincerely,

Chaparrin

AKA: R.T.

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